Skip to main content

HSG results

Just remembered that I completely forgot to update about my HSG results!


Well the procedure was as undignified and as painful as expected but the recovery was much better than anticipated.  The wonderful news is that I am apparently not blocked!  Initially I was saddened that we didn't have the reason for our infertility but now I am just glad that whatever is wrong will be simple to repair compared to a blockage.


Chris has to make an appointment in the New Year to be re-tested and then I guess we will be having another appointment with our specialist.


Well it has occurred to me over the last week or so that I seem to be in a really good emotional place right now 

I think that since our HSG I am feeling slightly more relaxed about it all. I don't need to rush around like a mad woman trying to fight the NHS to do more as it is slowly being done and I don't feel the need to fall pregnant this very second.

I think it is because I have managed to keep myself occupied and forced myself to socialise more with my friends that this has happened. I don't want to spend my life resentful and bitter, wallowing in a pit of self despair wondering what is wrong with me. I have no doubt that there is something preventing us from falling pregnant. Whether physical or psychological I am not too sure but obsessing over it sure isn't going to help.

I want to enjoy my life for now, do really immature and selfish things and not live a life of regret. I don't want to be 10 years down the line, still childless and wondering how I wasted my late twenties and early thirties on something that still hadn't happened. I want to learn new skills, maybe indulge in some more education, travel to places that I would never be able to afford with a baby and do things that parents are too restricted to do.

Sometimes I truly wonder if it is the actual baby I want or the fact that I want it because I can't seem to have it. I worry that when the baby arrives I will realise that life wasn't so bad before and perhaps we shouldn't have pushed so hard to become parents in our twenties when there are still so many things left to do. I know deep down that this wouldn't happen, yes I may long for a fitful nights sleep and being able to party without having a time to be home for and responsibilities that cannot be shirked but over-all I know I will make an excellent Mum but that doesn't mean I don't worry about these things.

For now I am going to focus on me, be self centred, selfish and truly indulgent. If a surprise pregnancy comes along then great but if it doesn't then I am going to try and live life to the fullest.

Nothing drastic like NTNP on the cards and I am still considering going vegan in February but for now I am trying the more relaxed approach to trying to conceive.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Replacement Blades for the Silhouette Cameo - UK users

From the moment I purchased my Silhouette Cameo I was in love.  The only way I could justify the cost was to start up a business , the only problem with this was the cost of the blades.  I was getting through a blade every few weeks, at just under £16.00 (including postage) for a single blade it was getting very expensive.  I knew that once business picked up I was going to either have to increase prices (never a good idea for new businesses) or take a big knock in profits.  The only solution I could see was be to try and find a cheaper solution to the blades. I was first made aware of using disposable blades by Ligaya's Creativity Zone .  She had had success with an aluminium (CB09) Blade Holder.  This blog was invaluable for advice on the different angled blades available and suppliers of the CB09 Blade Holder. The only drawbacks were the seller was based in Asia (have been stung for import taxes before, and it is a hefty amount) and there were re...
30 comments
Read more

Glitter Wine Glasses and Mugs DIY - Dishwasher safe too! UK

So I made a vow this year to do more crafts that were for me, rather than geared towards selling in the shop.  When I cam across this picture on pinterest, my heart literally swooned <3 courtesy of whitehouseblackshutters blog It is pointless, something only a gal would understand, but I needed one! The blog mentions that in order to make the glitter mug dishwasher safe, you need to use Martha Stewart Decoupage glue - what followed was an epic weekend long search to find a supplier in the UK I was frustrated beyond belief, and about to bite the bullet and import it from the US (to hell with the import tax, I NEEDED it!) when I stumbled across a site called emerald crafts  and they had one bottle left in stock.  It was mine! So once it arrived, I gathered up all my supplies and set to work! Rubbing Alcohol / Surgical Spirit Mug Masking Tape Brush Glitter Rub down your mug with the surgical spirit and make sure it is dry before ap...
15 comments
Read more

Superdrug Colour Rewind - Hair Dye Remover Review - Part One

I started dying my hair at the grand old age of 15 - fast forward to 12 years later and my hair has become a dried out mop of horror.  I started with black - I loved Marilyn Manson and Slipknot and needed the world to view my hair as an extension of my sheer awesomeness!  This phase lasted until I was about 19; almost 4 years of the darkest of darks layered over my hair. I alternated between black, black-blue, black-purple and even tried dip dyed black and red.  At 19 I wanted a change and decide to bleach it so I could dye it red - after an initial day of ginger (luckily I was favouring the sporty baseball cap in this period) I switched to a dark red.  Next came a few years of alternating between different shades of red and then various browns. When we started trying for a baby in 2010 I was worried that the constant dying of my hair whilst pregnant could cause development issues - I went to a professional hair dresser and had blonde highlights put through ...
6 comments
Read more