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Friday, 14 October 2011

The Proof May Be in the Pudding!

Well after the unexpected early arrival of that evil Monthly Monster I have realised that my first two week wait with my new cavalier attitude has passed!
Usually I will symptom spot like a woman possessed from about 3DPO but this month I have really taken a seat back and tried to cram in as many hobbies as possible, oddly it definitely helped to distract me.  Also instead of dissolving into a dark funk, or worse suffering a full snot and tears melt-down I just accepted it and went straight back to mentally planning my list of jobs today!  For me this is huge, I know I started this blog in an effort to try a new approach to trying to conceive, but I didn't actually think that it was going to work so well, or even so quickly!
Admittedly I am a little worried about my ever shortening luteal phase but I haven't felt the need to jump onto the internet and scour home remedies to lengthen it (can't promise I won't though!) and I am actually feeling fairly positive that this HASN'T been our month as I have big plans for the end of October that can now be followed through stress free!
Thinking back at the things I have done differently this cycle and the main difference seems to be that I didn't put any pressure on myself to achieve our little bundle of joy.  Later this month it will be exactly a year since we lost Sprout and I was convinced that I would be whipping myself into a frenzy trying to be successful this cycle so that I didn't have to face the anniversary with an empty womb.  I can honestly say that this thought hasn't crossed my mind for the whole cycle!
In a way it seems more fitting in honouring Sprout's memory that we didn't fall pregnant before the first anniversary of our loss.  If we had perhaps it would have felt more like Sprout was just a clinical failed attempt rather then a little bean that we both loved and hoped for.
So along with the lack of pressure I have also been indulging in a few hobbies!  I decided a few months back that I would be making fertility jewellery that contained crystals and stones that are known to be beneficial in conception, healing and protection.  Here is the first piece so far;
Fittingly it is a memorial piece to honour all those lost little ones.  If you are in the know then it is obvious what these earrings represent but they also have the ability to look like cute fashion earrings that don't actually have any symbolism other then looking good!  I know from experience that some women don't want the whole world to know their pain and struggles and so for them these earrings can still honour their babies without the risk of added prying questions.  I used tibetan and plated silver for the wings and findings and the stone is Rose Quartz, well known for it's physical and emotional healing properties,

I also have a great number of things to look forward to at the end of this month which I am sure has helped in the distraction department!  My lovely husband and I are going with friends to the MCM Expo in London on the 29th to indulge in all things geeky!  My costume of choice is American McGee Alice;

So when I would usually be sobbing into my breakfast about another failed month I am instead figuring out how to pull off this awesome costume!  So far I have managed to find a dress that only needed slight adjustments to achieve the right silhouette.  Unfortunately it is made of polyester and is in lilac making it extremely difficult to achieve the right colour.  After lots of internet research I have found some polyester dye that may work and have had to fork out £20 for a pot big enough to boil and dye the dress in.  Such a waste of a pot but if it achieves the right colour then it is a small price to pay!

I have also been exercising a little bit this month and I know that when I stick to it properly the endorphins release does help to stabilise my moods!  Steps are currently being taken to ensure that I can keep up some sort of regime in the coming months.  A bit of weight loss wouldn't exactly be a bad thing either as I usually like to enjoy a guilt free Christmas of food and booze but at this rate I will be watching the calories which simply will not do!

My current attitude may change in the coming days but I sincerely hope not.  Pictures of more jewellery creations and completed costume will of course follow!