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Friday, 30 September 2011

Introductions

Hello, my name is Danielle and I am a trying to conceive addict.  For the past twenty months all of my actions have revolved around trying to get that big fat positive, it is the first thing I think of when I wake, the last thing I fantasise about at night and more often then not the main thing that I dream about!
You name it and I have done it; the bedding schedule (varied each month), the medicine cabinet of supplements, legs in the air after bedding, hips elevated during bedding, the fertility diet, the yucky man made fertile mucus imitator, morning body basal temperature checks, ovulation predictor tests, abstaining before fertile period, exercising, not exercising, being a pessimist, visualising conception (no not the physical part!), crystal healing, wiccan spells, meditating, praying, monitoring my cycles, not monitoring my cycles, certain positions, no alcohol....phew the list is endless and very exhausting!
After a devastating miscarriage, a battle with my local health authority over testing, more tears and tantrums then I can count, feelings of bitterness that seem to worsen each month, fits of jealousy and more cycles of disappointment then I can bear, I realised that something has to change before I go completely insane!
This is my quest to try and find the lighter side of long term trying to conceive, my plan to try and claw back my easy going outlook, recapture my sense of self and to finally live a life that isn't trying to conceive obsessed, and most importantly to just have fun!

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